Questions and Answers:

Q. How much can you eat, anyway?

A.  I'm finally getting semi-respectable.  I hold the Kennesaw CiCi's Pizza record - 47 slices, I'm up to 21 Krystal Burgers in eight minutes, and just got a personal best 14 Nathan's Hot Dogs in 10 minutes.  I also did well in the World Waffle Eating Championships in 2006, finishing with 10 waffles in 10 minutes.  I'm always hungry, even when the contests end, which means I'll have to keep running for the rest of my life, or I'll weigh about 600 pounds!  So, please, watch out for the old man wearing the Nathan's Hot Dog shirt jogging 30 years from now...

Q. How come you know all these famous people?

A. Some people are papparazzi, I am Paularazzi - Instead of hassling celebrities to get a photo of them, I hassle and annoy celebrities to get a photo with them.  What really scares me is when somebody actually asks me to take a picture with them - now that's just weird!

Q. Tell us about your preparation for an eating contest..

A. First, I start begging my wife three months in advance to let me go.  This involves extra yard work, letting her control the remote control, and less farting in the house.  Then, I run, and run, and run some more, so I can visit the doctor, and have him tell my wife my cholesterol is only elevated, not high, and it's ok for me to stuff 12 minutes of fatty foods in my piehole.  Instead of eating food I like, I eat chicken breasts, not chicken legs - I eat salads, not french fries, broccoli instead of chocolate ice cream. 

    I also drink water constantly.  This helps me get exercise, because I make about 22 trips to the bathroom a day, adding up to almost a mile of extra running so I don't wet myself...again.  The night before a contest I beg some more, get yelled at for doing "this" again, and have to promise that I will do more yard work when I get home.  It's a glamourous life, but the ninth-place finishes make it all worthwhile....

Q. You spent over five and a half-years in college....what took you so long to graduate?

A.  Why leave Disneyworld until you have to?!?  College was occasional studying mixed with a ton of fun - I still regret that graduating part a little bit!  Also, I had to stick around that long doing "research" on my book "You Know You're A College Student When.."

Q. How did you graduate anyway? You seem to know nothing about most everything!!

A. I managed to figure out all kinds of ways to get my B.S. degree, and only a small part of it involved studying, the rest involved perfecting my b.s.!  Soon, I'm going to share my secrets of school success wih the world - so duck and cover, I'm heading to your town!! 

Q. Why did you start Competitive Eating?

A. It justified eating like a pig, and nothing taste better than wet meat in a bun - YOMP!

Q. Why the heck do you have so many nicknames?

A. Once a contest begins, I usually never get mentioned again (until they announce the 9th place winner), so I make sure it takes a long time to at least say my name

Q. Do you really have any super powers?

A. Yes, I can instantly annoy anyone, I work super-slow, have super-snoring, and am super handsome

Q. What does your family think of you participating in eating contests? 

A. They are just glad I am out of the house for awhile, that super-bothering and super-snoring drives them nuts

Q. Describe your artworks, and other products.

A. I love the beach, and miss it,so the Tropicmon designs make me feel lke I'm still there, except in 2-D.  The eating art is delicious, nutritious, and good for your soul, and my wallet - so less talk, and more buy, amigo!

The T-shirt designs and other products are all there to provide inspiration, warmth, fellowship, yarn, and additional ways for you to help the SPBBBMB Stop the Poverty Fund, which provides much-needed income for the entire Barlow family.

Q. What are your future plans?

A.  Today, I'll be eating breakfast, followed by work avoidance and running, plus consumption of four water bottles, and seven trips to the bathroom.  Next, a light lunch, more water, more restroom relaxation, followed by a well-earned nap.  That, of course, will cause sleep-driven hunger pains, so I'll eat a heavy dinner, along with more water.  That will lead to more lavatory lounging.  Finally, several hours of bad television until I fall asleep on the couch while my wife tries to have significant conversation with me.

Q. If a fan or celebrity hands you money, would you keep it?

A. Please, please, always attempt this when you see me - the answer will thrill and amaze you!!